Other People's Children

I love watching other people's kids as they grow. I love hearing about all the things they're doing and how much progress they're making; but there are days when it literally breaks my heart when I think that our son would now be the same age (10 months old), and under different circumstances it would be me proudly showing picutres and videos. I sometimes sit in the lounge and wonder what it would be like to have this little fella crawling around....driving the dog mad and exhausting us at every turn.

Would we even be considering moving house just yet? Probably not. Would we still have the same car? Definitely not....our Astra Coupe is just too low and only has 2 doors - completely impractical. And yet here we are about to move and considering buying another sporty car come December.

I sometimes marvel at the fact that I haven't gone completely insane over the past year; and yet I haven't. Oh there are times when I feel like I've gone over the edge....times when Andy does something that makes me want to take him out into the garden and bury him under the patio.

And what about that? What right do I have to sit here and think that my pain over our losses is any more acute than Andy's?

One thing is true though, I love that man more than even he can imagine, and I AM looking forward to this new start in a new house. And judging by the house that we have chosen to move to, we have both quietly accepted that it will forever be just the two of us.