Done or not done.....

Sent to me by another blogger. Simply highlight in bold the things you HAVE done...........


01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can3
2. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon.
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign (Does watching-from-afar count??!)
46. Backpacked in Europe (No, but I want to do the Amazing Race)
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Buried Children
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Not too shabby!

The Woman Who Killed Santa

Christmas 2006 - the year I dropped the ultimate Christmas bollock.

It involved - a) alcohol, b) a small child and c) the existence, or otherwise, of a popular but possibly mythical figure who lives at the North Pole and who's initials are S.C.

In my defence, conversation round the table with my mother and father in law on Christmas Eve touched on whether my nephew (age 9) still believed in Santa. We 'phoned his mother and the word came back to the table - apparently not.

So Christmas Day, over to the in-laws. It has to be said, I had had a drink, or two. My nephew and I are sitting there and so I asked 'so, what do you think about Santa then?'.I suppose, in hindsight, I should have just shut the fuck up. But no, I had to prattle on about how different cultures believed in different winter spirits, about man's need to have an anthromorphic visualisation of the season, about Jack Frost and every other Terry Pratchett character I could think of.

Nephew goes to bed, I'm struggling into my coat and my sister-in-law appears in front of me, like the Demon King in a panto.'My son has just told me that you told him that Santa doesn't really exist.'

I don't really recall what happened next, but I think my husband bundled me out of the house, got me home, put me to bed, waited until the next morning and then gave me what, in some circles, might be described as a 'telling off'. God, there's nothing worse than being on the wrong end of a well-deserved telling off.

So my plan is this - never see my sister or brother in-law, or their children, again.Somewhat inpractical I know, but best for all in the long run. Best for them because there are two kids aged seven and four who still believe in Santa, best for me because they were just getting to that age when they could beat me on the Nintendo and I hate that.

So, as a result, I have knocked the Ipswitch strangler off of the top of the list as Britain's most evil person! Naturally my friends think this is all hilarious and can't wait for the follow up at Easter 'Jesus - The truth that even Dan Brown wouldn't tell you', and 'The Easter Bunny....Truth or Pie'.

Grounded!

Ah, the romance of air travel. It used to be all about glamour. Actually, it used to be all about danger, then it was all about bombing Dresden and in-flight entertainment meant dodging flak. Somewhere along the way though it turned into something like a national Express coach with wings bolted to the side.

Then some nutters reminded everyone that aeroplanes and tall buildings were mutually incompatible and the next thing you know you’re not allowed to take bottles of fizzy water, or indeed bombs, onto the aircraft. Perrier and semtex were for the hold, thank you very much.

A few blokes with beards resulted in the sort of airport chaos that even the combined might of striking Spanish baggage handlers and French air-traffic controllers could not match. Now it would appear that fog has had the same result.

All domestic flights from the UK are grounded.

This has resulted in a lightning reaction from the airport staff. A simple solution would be to arrange alternative ground travel (only domestic flights being cancelled) or put the grounded passengers in hotel rooms. However, they decided to go down the tents and blankets route. WTF? Tents, in December?

The scenes are like something from a disaster zone. Tune in to the news and you might think that there’s some sort of weird exchange programme going on, where some wealthy western family are spending Christmas in a tent under a blanket while the Iraqi family whose home they helped to bomb the shit out of stay at their cottage in the Cotswolds.

Apparently the Israeli’s have already tried to bulldoze the tented ‘refugee camp’ three times. Not bad going.

The question is though - why are these people there at all? These are domestic flights we’re talking about. The solution, surely, is to get on a tube, get on a train and, ta dah, several hours later you’re wherever you wanted to be and probably all the better for a few drinks along the way - what’s the issue?

Airships have to be the answer. Never mind this tedious having to take off from a runway and maybe hitting something, like a 747 or a jolly fat man in an airborne sleigh. Just release the rope, go 400 feet straight up above the fog and then drop her into first gear.

Three or four days pleasant cruising over the Atlantic say - made all the more fun by dropping things on the QE2 as you pass her - and you’re in New York.

Outstanding!!!

It would also put the glamour back into travel as, if I were running the airship service, I would insist that everyone wear evening dress at all times.

Still Alive!!!!

Yes, I have returned from my Californian road-trip, and I promise to post pictures galore...but for now let me just say that my visit with Allie, Windy and assorted husbands and children was nothing short of AWESOME. Much alcohol was consumed and much merriment made.

The whole visit just goes to show that some people are worth travelling thousands of miles to see....whilst others are not worth picking up the phone for.

So Allie, Windy, Jed, Mike, Avery, Marylin, Ainsley, Murphey and Winston........We thank you from the heart of our bottoms!!!!

Here's to next time!